フィンランドへ行くまで
2000年にスウェーデンに行って以来、北欧に行きたい！と思いつづけて数年。最近の北欧ブームで昔より、雑誌・インターネットでの情報も手に入りやすくなり、ますます熱が上がってきた2003年年末。GWだったら、仕事もなんとか都合がつくのでは？と思い、北欧行きを決意。はじめは、コペンハーゲンにいくつもりだったのだが（じっくり見たかったので、1カ国滞在にしようと思ったので）、最終的にアラビア・アルテックの故郷フィンランドに決定。行くと決めたら、ますます魅力的な国だった。
年が明け、GWの予約をするには遅すぎるか？と思われた頃、ようやく行動開始。前回のスウェーデンも個人手配で行ったので、今回も航空券とホテルだけ手配していくことに。ツアーで都合がいいのがなかったのと、高かったのもある。
とりあえずは航空券ということで、片っ端から格安航空券を取り扱っている旅行会社を当たる。当初4月29日出発を予定していたのだが、さすがにこの日の便は全ていっぱい。30日にずらすとボチボチ空いていた。最終的に、『北欧旅行』と『WEST SHIP』の2社にしぼる。両社とも、スカンジナビア航空でコペンハーゲン経由ヘルシンキ行き。出発時間も一緒。交渉の結果、一番安くしていただいた『WEST SHIP』に決定。ホテルも一緒にお願いする。飛行機の条件は、ひたすら安さだったが、ホテルには利便性なども考慮した。価格的には、少し高めだったが、駅まで徒歩3分という立地、デザインホテルとまでいかないがホテルの中が北欧らしい（スウィートにはアアルトスウィートという部屋もあった）ということ、朝食が美味しいという評判で「ラディソン・サス・プラザホテル」に決定。オフシーズンのため、比較的安いように思う。
航空券とホテルを手配したところで、あとは現地の情報収集。雑誌はたくさん出ていたので、片っ端から買った。きっと、その分で食器がいくつか買えたはず(笑)。でも、いまでも眺めているからよしとしよう。（参考にした雑誌等は別メニューで紹介）
帝国ホテル内にあるフィンランド政府観光局にも出向いた。ここから発行されている本『フィンランディア』は、読むだけでもなかなか楽しい。ここでは、フィンランド関連の書籍が読めたり（コピー等も有料で可）、無料で手に入るパンフレットなども置いてある。ヘルシンキのインフォメーションに置いてある無料ガイドブック（日本語）もある。これは、詳細な地図が載っているし、コンパクトなので常に持ち歩けて便利。もし、平日時間があったら一度覗いてみることをおすすめする。（日曜日は休み）直接、スタッフの方に話を聞くこともできる。時刻表なども置いてあるので、遠出するときに予定も立てやすいだろう。
このフィンランド政府観光局が協力しているもので、イルムスにヘルシンキのインテリアショップマップが置いてあった。（もちろん、政府観光局にも）なかなかいいショップが載っているので、無料だしもらっておくと便利。
前回のスウェーデン旅行の時と大きく違うのは、情報の多さ。特に、インターネットでの情報収集はかなり貴重な情報を得ることができた。実際いかれた方のＨＰを見て、とても参考になったし、メールのやりとりをさせていただいたりして、生の情報がもらえたことは、とても安心して旅行に行くことができた。特に小さなショップは、雑誌やガイドブックにはでていないのでとても助かった。また、商品の情報なども、あらかじめネットショップなどで価格を調べていけたり、現地のＨＰで情報を得られたことも、前もって調べられて良かった。
情報が大方集まったところで、行動予定表作成。行きたいところをピックアップし、効率よく回れるように地図とにらめっこしながら作る。レストランもすべて予定に組み込む。結局、予定通りには行かなかったのだが（笑）。それでも、旅行準備はほとんどわたしひとりで進めてきたが、この段階からはダンナも参加。どうやら、実感が湧いてきたらしい。途中行くエストニアの情報は少なく、不安を残しつつも、準備はすすんでいく。。。
そうこうしているうちに、出発日が近づく。スカイライナーのチケットも前もって手配し、あとは行くだけ。
どんな旅行になったのかは旅行記にて。
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
The truth is more important than the facts.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am not young enough to know everything.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
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I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
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You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
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